What's better than Johnny Depp playing the lead role in your movie as Captain Jack Sparrow? How about three or four Johnny Depps on screen all at once in your movie? That's the best way to define The Magic of Disney in this final episode. If you create a character that helps rake in millions, a character that everyone adores, why not multiply him to play scenes with himself? That's a rhetorical question, but it's exactly what Jerry Bruckheimer did in more than one scene. Johnny Depp, guys want to be him, while girls want to shave his head and carry him around like a bowling ball by his mouth and nostrils. You get the idea.
"Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End" was a fitting close to a great trilogy. I waited four weeks past opening day to finally see this extravaganza. It delivered with a big finish in grand swashbuckling style. I left feeling a great sense of closure having endured film number two to get to this one. I enjoyed every minute of it except for the 50 foot Calypso transformation, the enormous ship fight around the toilet bowl whirlpool and the multiple Captain Jack Sparrow moments. I don't care how much you love the ladies, a woman that huge can only mean trouble, not to mention that she will sink your ship (pun intended). If your going to have a closing scene with two ships fighting, why have it take place in a toilet bowl whirlpool. What kind of crap was that? Pirates don't sail ships in a whirlpool. Totally fake!
Go see this movie. If you have been holding back thinking it would be dumb, it is, but in a really kewl way like YouTube. If you're a sensitive man hunk like me you'll leave happy knowing that all the main character stories come to a conclusion and you''ll be thrilled that no one complained about you sneaking in your Chinese food dinner. The smell of my Chinese food, popcorn and Kit Kat Bar made it feel like I was really inside the movie. But not during the toilet bowl part, that was so fake. I meant during the scenes with Chow Yun-Fat. I give this film two (2) protruding nipples. I would have given it more, but that's all I had on me. Thumbs are "so not hot" anymore.
In conclusion, I thought the close to Disney's epic pirate saga was immensely entertaining. The surprise bonus ending after the credit roll was worth waiting for, I let out a big sigh of relief. The pirate monkey was amazing, he ought to be featured on the front page of Cute Overload. Keira Knightly was too thin, the toilet bowl fight scene was totally fake, Johnny Depp was brilliant (just once, not in multiples) and no one cared that "Bootstrap Bill" Turner (mister "part of the ship") was saved only after cutting out his son's heart in the process. Nice job Dad! Will finally saves you're sorry ass and then you cut his heart out with a steak knife. So totally fake.
I sincerely hope that no one was harmed during my review of this film, especially since I revealed some super secret pirate stuff. If you were harmed, it has to be totally fake.
"It's massive, it's bigger than Dickens" Geoffrey Rush