Mr. Besilly's Blog

The Footprints We Leave Behind

It's difficult to truly measure how much of a difference I'm making in the lives of those around me. At home, at work, with close friends or extended family. I'm a famous self doubter. We all want to know that we'll be missed if for some reason we should fly away. The only way to find out is to simply disappear and then I'd never know anyhow.

I've realized the best way to understand how much of a difference I'm making in the world of those that orbit around my gravity, is to ask. If you're perceptive enough you can probably guess at the footprints you'll leave behind, but it's not wrong to ask. So I did.

It was a little awkward at first, but the conversation that followed quickly became a meaningful dialog that felt like it granted me the courage to stick around a whole lot longer than I intended to (I don't mean that literally). The answers became like the free prize inside a box of cereal when I was a kid.

My wife Terri said; "Without you in my life, I would never laugh as much as I do." On my scale of personal measurement that's a fantastic start. I never knew she felt that way until she said it. I'm so glad I asked.

photo by Imagem Compartilhada [link]

 

Carried In The Arms of A Giant

My Aunt Josephine was a giant. She was a tall woman. That's not what made her a giant. Aunt Jo was my Dad's favorite sister and from my earliest memories she called me and my two brothers her boys. Aunt Jo had two beautiful girls of her own but never any boys, so fortunately we were it.

My Aunt was always like a second Mom to me growing up. She constantly worried about me from long distances, making sure I always had cash in pocket. Aunt Jo was the greatest cook when it came to Italian food. I've never recovered from her amazing raviolis. Need I say more? No matter how hard things were in my turbulent home, she was like a giant always there to pick me up. I took great comfort knowing that I was one of Aunt Jo's boys.

The Price of Free At Starbucks

Starbucks gave me a free grande latte today for the right reason. It was free but it still cost me. Since Howard Schultz has recaptured the helm at Starbucks a lot of sweeping changes have been put into effect. Here's the deal. If you use a registered Starbucks card like I do, you gain a few extra privileges. One privilege that I benefit from is free soy milk that typically costs me forty cents extra per cup. That's a great deal since everyone seems to charge extra when choosing soy milk.

Saying The Right Things To Depressed People

I must admit, it's very difficult to know exactly the right things to say when you're talking to people who are depressed. Especially if they're your close friends living in the Northwest. Non-psychologist Steven Blum, a Seattle blogger in residence compiled an insightful list of tips on "How To Talk To Depressed People" lumping them into a kind of subculture. I instantly recognized that I could not have written a better list myself. One of my favorites is;

"Don't tell them to write on a blog. Depression blogs are depressing and cause more people to suffer from depression blogging." - Steven Blum

I realize that depression is not a subject to joke about. A few friends of my own recently contacted me and asked if I've been depressed, citing that they found many of my recent posts totally depressing. Nice! They're now off my friends list for at least two weeks until I fully recover from depression caused by their honest and refreshingly candid banter. Read Steven's entire post and prepare to laugh out loud. He's good! 

Who On Earth Is Phil Tramdack?

A photographer named Joey Kennedy immortalized Philip Tramdack in the striking portrait seen above describing Phil as; "A great man with unique vision". I have no clue who mister Tramdack is. Joey's caption said that Phil loves his couch and fought hard to preserve it, which appears to be inspiration for the portrait. There's a whole lot of couch and very little Phil.

The Message In A Bottle

Today I found your left over bottle of sparkling water on the floor of my 1979 VW convertible. This was the first beautiful day we've had in Seattle since I dropped you off at the airport last Saturday. After we said goodbye for the one hundred and tenth time, I wondered what happened to that bottle of Pellegrino as I drove home. I guessed that you had to surrender it at airport security. I had no clue that it remained with me all week, hiding in plain sight.

I sat on the dock by the lake at Enetai Beach today and I drank the remainder of your Pellegrino while taking in the sun. With every sip I reflected on the amazing time we shared together. My day was perfection. Thirty years later that sparkling water of yours triggered incredible memories for me. The message of our committed friendship after all these years flooded my mind like a familiar song.

That's exactly how a good friendship is, the smallest things we leave behind often mean the most. Some of the greatest gifts we give each other are never planned. I'm not someone who typically chooses sparkling water. Though I plan to drink it often until we have the chance to reconnect again.

“A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are.”

Photo by Ray Basile

Choosing A Different Path

Last January we experienced a huge snowfall overnight that shut down my small community for about 24 hours. I live in a part of the county, where the snow plows and salt trucks show up last. Snow and thick ice on the roads made driving impossible.

That morning my wife Terri and I choose a different path. She knew of a short walk through the woods that would lead us to Starbucks for a latte on that perfect winters day. Taking that path last winter forever changed us. It was one of the most beautiful walks I had ever been on. We have continued with our walk to Starbucks every weekend morning since then. It has evolved into amazing quality time with each other. I have learned to cherish our walks together.

When we are willing to adapt to change and open ourselves to choosing a different path, therein lies the opportunity for a fresh vision. The hope of something brand new, revealing itself in the ordinary.   

See Our Path Through The Woods (here)   

Uncovering Victoria in 36 Hours

Victoria, British Columbia, Canada was storybook charming as much as it was beautiful and inviting. I set off on an adventure on the first weekend in August with my wife Terri, to uncover this jewel of Canada inside of 36 hours and I have the pictures to prove it.

There is so much history in Victoria with homes dating back to the early 1800's. If you love breathtaking views, British history and great architecture you might consider Victoria as your next stop when visiting the Northwest. You will return transformed for the better.

The Sugar Shack, Hiding In Plain Sight

There's a unique little restaurant called "The Sugar Shack" hiding in plain sight on Main Street in Surf City USA. I found this local hot spot during my last trip down to Huntington Beach, California determined to make an encore appearance to sample another amazing breakfast on my trip this week to So Cal. The Sugar Shack is located just blocks up from the Huntington Beach Pier featuring perfect outdoor seating, serving breakfast all day long from 5:00 am to 4:00 pm along with sandwiches and huge omelettes. I hear tell that they serve a special Turkey dinner only on Wednesday nights, but I'm not certain if that's folklore.

Old Friends

I never imagined us growing older together, we were so caught up in being young. Our hearts were strong, our heads were even stronger. There was no way to convince us that we didn't know it all. The hours we shared pushing ourselves so close to empty will forever be etched upon my heart. The most memorable days of my life were spent running side by side with you, my friend. 

Old friends are like pickup trucks, the older they get, the crankier they become, still you would never try to part with them. Not for anything in this world.