The Footprints We Leave Behind

It's difficult to truly measure how much of a difference I'm making in the lives of those around me. At home, at work, with close friends or extended family. I'm a famous self doubter. We all want to know that we'll be missed if for some reason we should fly away. The only way to find out is to simply disappear and then I'd never know anyhow.

I've realized the best way to understand how much of a difference I'm making in the world of those that orbit around my gravity, is to ask. If you're perceptive enough you can probably guess at the footprints you'll leave behind, but it's not wrong to ask. So I did.

It was a little awkward at first, but the conversation that followed quickly became a meaningful dialog that felt like it granted me the courage to stick around a whole lot longer than I intended to (I don't mean that literally). The answers became like the free prize inside a box of cereal when I was a kid.

My wife Terri said; "Without you in my life, I would never laugh as much as I do." On my scale of personal measurement that's a fantastic start. I never knew she felt that way until she said it. I'm so glad I asked.

photo by Imagem Compartilhada [link]

 

Comments

[Bob]

Thanks,
I needed to hear that this morning. I don't handle success any better than failure and we have had lots of successes and recognition over the past few years but .. But I doubt that I had anything to do with them. Old tapes continue to run; "why can't you do anything right?", " you can do better", " when will you ever change?"

After more than 50 years, you would think that I would hear the more recent tapes but those of us with the dreaded inferiority complex never seem to be able to change the loop.

I was in self doubt this morning and thinking that we should cancel our vacation plans afterall I didn't deserve a vacation and maybe I could accomplish something important if I stayed and donated the money we would spend.

Your post was helpful in at least turning down the volume on the old messages.

[MadSpanky]

Your post reminds me how important it is to communicate to others about their footprints as well. Now, go tell your wife what a phenomenal impact she's had on your life! :)

[katrina]

Interesting post, interesting thoughts. Somehow after the age of 5, I guess we humans begin lacking the confidence or persistence or chutzpah to continuously ask "Do you love me, huh? Huh? Do you love me?" In a child it's "cute" but in a relationship it can surely come off as twitchy, needy and co-dependent. But that should not be an excuse to avoid asking the question altogether.

Excuse me...I have to go french kiss my dog now.

[Thea Westra]

You're right. Nothing like hearing it straight from another.
This week a few ex-students of mine (from 20 years ago) found my Facebook, and now they're all beginning to find me.
The following was written by one of them (I hid her location for her privacy).
"Hello Miss Westra...it has been ages..How are you? Are you still a teacher? and I see you're living in Perth now... Im living in ---- at the moment studying to be a teacher!!! It's my final year, I should graduate in about 5 weeks so I am really excited about it.
Do you know, that when lecturers at uni ask us about our old teachers and which teachers we believe helped shape us and make us so passionate about teaching now, I always tell them about you and how good a teacher you were. :)"
It was such a joy to read. I have been told things similar by ex-students & never fails to bring me to tears every time.
Cheers, Thea

[David G]

Let me tell YOU, Mr. Besilly, that you have been a great friend to me since 1988, and I really appreciate you.